(Untitled)?

Mind fucked

The moon ducked

My nighttime again

Staring in darkness

Into a vacuum

The wilderness

Of my mind

Oh my mind

Fuck my mind

It's so fucked

I don't know

Question marks why

I'm no angel

I have no wings

To reach your heaven

Whatever that may be

In your mind

But my mind

You know the story

So sad

What happened

To the Summer

To me

And the sunshine

And you

Still my sunshine

Regardless you shine

You always will

As the days

Fade away

Talk

To empty

My head

Full of trash

As ever

It used to be funny

Now it just

Fills back up

To the brim

With filth

These are ours

A beginning

Not an end

I hope

But hope is not

To believe

That would be

A lie

Lay dormant

Not dead

I was a mystery

You are my history

We'll go down

And resurface again

With moonlight

In our eyes

Air full of life

Without wings

Never forgetting

The need to fly

And here we are

Not knowing

What faces

You and me

And us

But ultimately

We know

It's not strange

How life

Can be cruel

But at least

There's tomorrow

Because there's always

A tomorrow

But what happens

When one day

The dawn

Turns cold

And black

As night

Ghosts

empty corridors

creak

under the weight

of restlessness

groaning walls

corroding

paper thin

to dust

to ashes

as ashes sweep

on the wind

it does not rest

it does not ease

my mind

a place

a time

condemned

to history

in memory

of laughter

smiles

friendship

somewhere

now nowhere

as clocks

tick

and tock

to no one

footsteps

echo

repeat

and fall flat

in shadows

of life

outlived

once loved

too much

now ghosts

are all that remain

of you

of them

and us

stained

in sufferance

disjointed

as leaves

on a tree

in the autumn

they know

their destination

it's no surprise

when they fall

why do we

have to fall

more than leaves

this hurts

limitless

but never boundless

forever

was just a word

from hollywood

for the dreamers

who dared

and offered

salvation

it wasn't true

it was just a dream

that crashed

and burned

and died

a child

once believed

and cried

because he could

he knew

no better

it was innocence

it was freedom

it was lost

or was it stolen

as we all are

and have been

just raped

by this world

and there you were

with sunshine

pouring

from your heart

the stars

chasing down

your heels

at midnight

you run

breathless

whilst i cry

because i can

and you stopped

to dry my tears

My first piece of poetry in about ten months, it's been a long time coming. I appreciate the poem may seem somewhat dark and foreboding but in reality it's a poem of friendship and love; that's the tale it's telling. I'm most definitely not in a bad mood, it's quite the opposite in fact and that's exactly where the poem is at. All the darkness that surrounds it is blown away by the last verse, blown away by the light. It's a story of the last two days - of girlfriend leaving, man it hurt so bad to say goodbye and I cried and she helped dry my tears. But it's not the end, I saw her again today and hopefully we'll see each other lots in the future too. For girlfriend, you mean so much, with love xxxxxxxxxxxxx.

Heaven falling from your eyes

"Those were not ghosts in your eyes

They were reflections

So honest

So true

Of the skies above

Painted

In water-colour

Of clouds

Sketched by the wind

Of shadows

Cast by the sun

Heaven

Falling from your eyes

Reflections

Of your soul"

For my boyfriend

With love

xoxoxoxox

I just wanted to say it's been a great weekend and the reason for that is solely down to one person, there's no need to guess is there? It's my boyfriend, of course; and the weather has been so kind to us too, someone up there is smiling down upon us at the moment. The simple things in life are the most satisfying and I know at times I do portray us as a hedonistic couple - there's a time and a place for everything, but it's not us at all really and certainly not us all the time.

The poem just kind of sums that simplicity up - we went for a walk today and there was a moment where I turned to kiss my boyfriend and I could see the reflection of the sky in his eyes. It was the most pure and beautiful vision I could have hoped to have seen, it was like heaven falling from his eyes - a reflection of his soul. I took the photo that accompanies the poem shortly afterwards, I was going to just post it on my photo blog but that moment stayed with me and well the poem was born.

Eyeliner blues

The horizon line is fading

Slowly disappearing from view

Storm clouds in the distance

Rolling over me and you

There's lightning traces

And lipstick faces

Straight boys dressed up in drag

High heeled shoes

Eyeliner blues

A notion of a slag

- - - - 

An angel in the architecture

Reaches for heaven above

Paupers in the gutter

Strung out on second hand love

A drunken sleaze

Wearing green jade knees

Foretells the price of fame

In glitter ball charms 

And tattoo artist arms

The story reads the same

- - - - 

It's raining down in Soho

A girl sings in a lonely bar

Songs of a better yesterday

Dreams of being a star

The shadows they taunt

In faces shallow and gaunt

Notes wrung out to dry

They greet the rain 

They hide the pain

No one listens when she cries

- - - - 

Whispers trail on stony ground

Forgotten words remain unspoken

Trees they bend to touch the earth

A truth already broken

Lovers gaze

In separate ways

Then walk away alone

The streetlights sigh

To the desperate sky

Gestures the way back home

- - - - 

Hyenas laugh in the graveyard

Ghosts haunt the frigid air

Eyes caught in a car crash

An illuminating stare

Shot blood red

Gunshot dead

Mascara black as night

Slips from her face

Slides without grace

Gives up without a fight

- - - -

A heart beats to a rhythm

Pressed gently in a hand

Connected to a feeling

Lines drawn within the sand

The halo slips 

To another ones lips

Together lost in time

As devils they call

Kisses innocently fall

Hope will always shine

- - - - 

Tonight the stars shine quietly

Silently to sleep

Baby don't you cry now

Darling don't you weep

There's moonlight strings

A serenade of kings

The freedom of a dove

Skin touches skin

A prayer from within

Two boyfriends making love

Oh my gosh, this poem has not turned out as I intended it to but I love it all the same; it still manages to tell the story I wanted to get across but it's a surprise. I've had verses running through my mind all afternoon whilst at work and I was so hoping they would stick around until this evening so I could capture them. Some I did and some I didn't - the vast majority of the final verses were originally in mind as a start to the poem, but hey it changed. I knew I wanted to write quite vividly to capture emotion and imagery within the piece but I think I've surpassed my original vision and it now tells more a full story.

To quickly surmise the poem is a story of how love can overcome adversity in whatever form adversity comes in. In this case it's about homosexuality for obvious reasons - I'm gay and in a gay relationship. The first five verses are all real dark and foreboding - storm clouds, paupers, loneliness, broken love and death etc.; to kind of portray the adversity such a relationship can face. The final two verses are the light in the poem - hope, love and beauty. A heart still beats to the rhythm is how it starts - and it does and will continue to do so wherever love is present.

The poems called "Eyeliner blues" simply because I just so love that line within the poem. When all's said and done it's simply a love poem that's all; love will always triumph over adversity. It's for us, me and my boyfriend; and anyone else who faces adversity simply because of a feeling they call love - hope will always shine. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Unlocked

Watching 

The water

Fathoms

So deep

Cold

Otherworldly

Destination

Unknown

- - - -

Watching

The skyline

Concrete

Metal 

Glass

Not ugly

Industrial

Operatic

- - - -

Watching

The horizon

Clouds

Sky

Sunshine

Meeting

In silence

As one

- - - - 

Watching

The breeze

In motion

In prayer

Changing

Direction

Painting

The heavens

- - - -

Watching

The words

Unspoken

Transparent

Transcending

Time 

Space

People

- - - -

Watching

The boy

In silence

These eyes

Innocent

These thoughts

So true

Friend

- - - -

Watching

The day

Pass

Slow motion

Doors

Lay open

Unlocked

No keys

I need inspiration to write poetry, today has been full of it, that's why this poem was born. It was so easy to write, it's just the story of today, the story of spending time together at Salford Quays. What a wonderful place, it reminds me of an oasis - a place of quiet, of peace, of tranquility in a big, bustling city. Just a place of such contradiction, the mix of water and beauty surrounded by concrete and glass. 

It's a place where you can't help but look and take notice; my eyes just open wide, watching, admiring taking photographs for the mind. Watching someone in particular, just so pure - that's what the penultimate verse is about - a boy, my friend.  The final verse, well it brings it all together, The Quays are mentioned abstractly along with my mindset, so open and honest. Spending time with someone special leaves me with no fear - leaves my door unlocked; that's the title of the poem, Unlocked. It's been a great day xxxxxxx.

Empty spaces

The trees sway

In the wind it calls

Crystalline dew drops

Morning fall

The sun is golden

The sky is blue

The clouds roll by

And I miss you

- - - - 

The birds sing

In rhyme in code

Notes from heaven

An empty road

Fields of grass

Visions of two

All this beauty

And I miss you

- - - - 

Clocks they tick

Time slides away

Breaking the silence

Wasting the day

Reminder of passing

Memory so true

Reflections in the mirror

And I miss you

- - - - 

Let me breathe

Smell your skin

See your eyes

The beauty within

Stars are hidden

Vanished from view

It means nothing

And I miss you

- - - - 

Night time drags

In shadows in faces

Threadbare walls

Empty spaces 

Dreams of desire

A moon falling through

Into the twilight

And I miss you

- - - - 

Jigsaw puzzles

Of the mind

I've been stumbling

Lost and blind

To kiss your lips

To feel your touch

And I have missed you

I've missed you so much

It doesn't need much of an explanation does it? This is for my boyfriend who I have missed so, so much; it's been horrible. I know our being apart has been self imposed due to me being ill and he has respected that wish, but it's been so difficult for the both of us. I just didn't want him getting ill too and I'm not much fun to be around when I'm not well anyway. 

But still I'm glad that the worst is over and I'm overjoyed that I'll be seeing him shortly; gosh he makes me so very happy. This is called, "Empty Spaces" it's for you babes, I've missed you so much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

Bathed in flowers

Boys

Walking streets

Bathed

In flowers

In bloom

Falling

As rainfall

So fragrant

So beautiful

Enchanted

- - - - -

Puddles

Not water

Still wet

A downpour

Shining

Like jewels

Encrusted

In pavements

As riches

Untold

- - - - -

In footsteps

And shadows

A canvas

Of walls

Painting

The Silence

Echoes of

A heartbeat

Through

Doors

- - - - -

A moon

The light

A saviour

So menacing

Forgiving

The lost

And lonely

Reminiscent

Of fortunes

Foretold

- - - - -

Teardrops

Collapsing

Breakwaters

Not sadness

Breathing

From memory

Speaking

No words

Innocence

So pure

- - - - -

The sky

Tonight

Awash

With colour

Darkness

On fire

Girls

Dressed up

Holding

Hands

Well, it's Valentines Day and although I'm not normally swayed by such sentiment, I just couldn't resist. I was at work this morning and the verse was just running around in my head and would not let go. So I sat down at the computer and despite the interruption, I normally can not write if interrupted, out it flowed, so easily.
It's a love poem for Valentines Day - pure and simple, without hidden agenda. Now I don't normally write happy poetry or poems about the glory of love and nothing has happened in my life personally to make me write it. I just kind of got caught up in the moment, I could feel the energy of love in the air, I really could - it was kind of intoxicating. I could not help myself.
I thinks it's good, it's not overly sentimental nor overly implied; it just floats down out of the ether. I like it's subtlety towards the subject matter.

JK has a one-off exclusive printed copy of the working original with a handwritten note - he always calls my poetry so true. He reckons it will be worth some money when I'm famous and/or commit suicide. Thanks for your kind words JK!
Happy Valentines Day xxx.

Welcome

Hello there blogger friends old and new, welcome to my new blog dedicated solely to my poetry. I have been posted my poetry on my sister blog "And I Know I Will Not Last" all the posts below can be still be found on there too. But I have started to write poetry quite frequently of late and so took the decision to set up another blog for it, to save you and I trawling through all the non-related poetry randomness I normally post there.
So welcome to my new home of poetry - I hope you like what I do? If so please feel free to leave a comment, it would be much appreciated. All the posts made after this will be new poetry written and posted solely on this blog so check back often, follow or subscribe via RSS.
Love to you xxx.

I nowhere

Originally written and posted on Friday 13 February 2009.

Tongue tied
Twisted
Built up
To fall
To pieces
Again
Heartfelt
Mouth sewn
Numb
With feeling
- - - - -
Truths
Lamented
Too much
To bear
To speak
Words
Transparent
As fog
Lingers
For dreamers
- - - - -
Lost
In sunsets
Eyes bleed
Beautifully
A paradox
Mutating
Circus lights
Painted
The clown
Tear stained
- - - - -
Moments
Take hours
Hours
Make dust
Forlorn
Forgotten
Unfulfilled
A promise
So fast
So untrue
- - - - -
In memory
Uncharted
A wilderness
Flowering
Unnoticed
Leaves fall
Gracelessly
Hopelessly
Smiling
Laughing
- - - - -
A name
Unanswered
A face
Still ringing
A crying
To no-one
So sad
Crossed out
Calling
To you
- - - - -
Running
In moonlight
Chasing
Down starlight
Crumbling
To dust
I know
My destination
I Know
Nowhere

Oh my......And this I do mean - this is the closest I have ever come in recent memory to just telling the truth straight out. The poem is called "I nowhere."

Poetry

Originally written and posted on Monday 02 February 2009.

It's not often I revisit old posts but I'm going to do it again tonight; I'm going to explain some of my poetry and rid some of the misunderstandings.
I have just re-read my last poem, written and published last night, "But you"; and at the time of writing I didn't feel it was that good. When I normally finish a poem I often feel elated by it and often hail it as the best this or that; last night nothing but a cryptic message. However, upon reading it again tonight the poem has begun to reveal itself to it's true potential. I wanted to tell a story, a true story and a personal one; so I hid it within a kind of abstract framework. I thought I had hidden it too well at the time of writing and it did not make that much sense; I was wrong. Now I can see it makes perfect sense and I do not think that the message I wanted to convey is hidden at all; it is perfectly obvious if the poem is read correctly. That said, you do not know the story but I hope it makes a connection somewhere and means something to anyone who reads it. Maybe if you do know me well then perhaps you do understand the meaning in it to me, who knows?
The form of poetry I write on here is not just random words strung together. Each piece tells a story and the words I use, however random they may appear, are placed within the frame deliberately to tell it. It can be a painstaking process but even the longest of my pieces take under one hour to complete; and I usually take the longest time deliberating over the use of one or two words. I also like how this from of poetry leaves a huge breadth and depth of scope for readers to form their own opinions, they are deliberately written but not deliberately directed.
I always used to write poetry with my heart and soul, which usually produced introvert pieces; whereas nowadays I just tap into a nerve and kind of take a step back from the subject matter; leaving my personal objectives open to subjection. I have found it much easier to write this way and it is a much easier process upon myself, I can write a definitive personal piece without giving the game away completely.
One other thing, I kind of lied in the summary to another poem, "The boy with broken eyes". There are actually three people who are the inspiration behind it. And as I'm in a feel good mood I'll let the main inspiration be known, man I'm throwing away secrets for fun of late! He works in Burger King, and I am attracted to him simply because he just looks so out of place, so kind of lost. I'm sure he probably leads a very happy life but it is an impression I cannot shake each time I see him. For some reason which I honestly cannot identify I just want to take hold of him and tell him everything will be okay. He is mostly, 'The boy with broken eyes", it's amazing as it is bizarre where I find the inspiration and how I view the world.

But you

Originally written and posted on Sunday 01 February 2009.

I am the wolf
Fancy dress
Pathetic
Born
Needful
Needless
Of everything
But you
Whoever
It may be
-----
Words
Splintered
Incoherent
Suffocated
Inexplicable
Gold plated
A given
Partaken
The riches
Unbearable
-----
Nature head
Lamppost
Concrete bound
Branches
Corroded
Bathed
In light
In rust
Looking down
Hard falls
-----
Cars pass
Choking
People die
A turmoil
Footsteps
Fade away
Windswept
To dust
Scared
Unreasonable
-----
A window
The mirror
Reflected
In horror
Your pain
Hands weep
In laughter
Bleeding
Injected
Digested
-----
A signal
So perfect
Dumbstruck
In drinking
Belief
Rewarded
Images
Negative
Polarity
Untrue
-----
New age
New beginning
New outlook
New nothing
But nothing
Nothing new
You knew
Not me
But you
Always

Oh my... why I have written this so abstractly? Well, it tells a story of sorts but I'm not sure how much of it is true. I guess I have learned recently that people in my life have begun to get to know me very well and I'm speaking a great deal of truth to them. This is just my reaction to it, for reasons unclear; because, for the most part, I enjoy sharing my life. I always try and maintain some kind of mystery to my life, that's probably why.
Anyway the poem is called "But you."

The boy with broken eyes

Originally written and posted on Tuesday 27 January 2009.

I'm in love
With the boy
With broken eyes
Shattered dreams
I see pain
Forgotten promises
I feel soul
Reflections sad
Regardless
Allow me in
Make it better again
-----
Stop the tears
Dry your cheek
Wipe the makeup
It is not needed
You are beautiful
A dove
White as a ghost
So high
So natural
So effortless
Unknown
-----
Blindness
Unforgiving
I will always
Forgive you
In sunlight
I see you
In moonlight
I miss you
The darkness
Romances
Entrances
-----
I will fail
The mystery
Falling
Upstairs
To save you
From yourself
If it hurts
Bones will heal
Hearts will not
Memory slides
Time plays dead
-----
A touch so soft
Graceful
Like woman
Fragile skin
Beauty within
Cut flowers
In bloom
Without water
To grace
One kiss
Unrepentant
-----
Silhouettes
Strung out
In shadows
Cast down
Enshrouded
Poisoned
Again
The boy
With broken eyes
I was once loved
By a man

This poem may grow but time is chasing me down tonight, so I'm going to post it as is. I think it's great already, it may not need any further additions, but time will tell. The opening lines have been working through my mind all day today and I just could not let them disappear without working on them in the short time I have tonight.
I would like to tell you what it's all about but I don't really know. So I will leave it up to you to decide; however someone is the inspiration behind it. The poems called "The boy with broken eyes".

Shadows electrified

Originally written and posted on Sunday 18 January 2009.

The nighttime
A darkness
Fractured
Of light
A Moon
Starlit
Thinking
Star struck
Muted
Too far
Already gone
----------
Breathe
A notion
So warm
Familiar
A Trembling
Of losing
Forgetful
One Number
So fragile
Secrets
Forgiven
-----------
A heartbeat
The time-slip
Abandonment
In prayer
Palms pressed
Tenderly
Graceful
Storm clouds
In motion
Shadows
Electrified

I'm not overly happy with this one but it's the best I can get it for now. I have been thinking too much on it and trying to force the words out rather than let it flow naturally. I think the real problem is this is the second time I have written about this subject within a week, but I could not help myself, it was so good again :-)
So regardless of whether the poem is any good or not I just wanted to capture the moment, which I've managed to do. I'll call this one "Shadows Electrified". This is for you xx.

The healing

Originally written and posted on Saturday 17 January 2009.

Mouth moving
To hear them
Words falling
They hurt me
Your soul
Sold
That look
Glazed
Those eyes
Indifferent
Turn around
Look away
Nowhere
I'm scared
Of you
-------------
A wish
The blindness
In sunshine
Raised upwards
Blue skies
Sugar Crystals
Of heaven
In the distance
I see you
A figure
Unspoken
The smiling
The healing
The stories
Untold

Well, I'm on some kind of form tonight; here we have another 10 minute poem. I love these short, simple turns of phrase; I think sometimes they can say so much more and also leave scope for interpretation. What's it about?
Life has been treating me indifferently these last few days, you can probably tell from some of my postings. Sometimes I let the bad stuff get all the ink and that would not be a fair representation of my mind. Stuff has got me down true but there has been plenty more to make me smile. I think today I sorted my mind out, found the crux of the matter, the source of the pain and stayed away from it; I've addressed it on here too.
The poem is called "The healing" because that's what I've been doing.

Impure

Originally written and posted on Saturday 17 January 2009.

Do not seek the eyes of strangers
Zero reflection, absolution
My soul weak
My mind tired
My body not
It is worth more
No truth to be found here
There is no love
No understanding
No caring
No joy
Nothing
But escapism
Impure
Unkind

Another poem I did not mean to write to begin with. I enjoy writing in this minimal style at the moment; and I like the end results. What's it about? Well, I learned something real good last night whilst in a kind of downward spiral. During such times I sometimes search for escapism from my blues by doing the above. Such behavior is not kind to me, does not resolve any of my issues and is quite shameful. Last night I stopped myself from doing it, I learned.
What that says about the process and about me when I am happy and carefree is....? I don't know. Maybe then it is just about having some fun, for the right reasons?
Anyway the poem, as the post suggests, is entitled, "Impure". Perhaps, the answers I seek to my own questions have already been written by my own hand?

Somewhere

Originally written and posted on Thursday 15 January 2009.

This will not make any sense to anyone but someone, it is just a note to whoever; and I just needed to post it, so it is recorded somewhere.

Saturday afternoon I just lost myself so.
I lost all sense of time, of place, of myself.
Of everything that I ever knew.
I was somewhere else - I do not know where.
I was someone else - I do not know who.
It did not matter and nothing mattered to me at all.
Never before have I felt like I have known so little in my life.
Yet it was the nearest I have been to anything ever before.
I did not want to see and I did not want to speak.
I forgot how to walk and I could barely crawl.
There was nothing in the world that made sense.
Because there was nothing to make sense of.
Life was an obscurity, breathing was not required.
Just for those moments, I was lost, totally, completely.

Thank you.
xxx

I've just read through this before posting it and I think it's a poem, not in a style I normally write in, but still. I did not mean to write one, it was not my intention, but I think it's really good. It's just human emotion, pure and simple; perhaps that's why it is what it is. Six years since I have last written poetry, oh my.
Post comment:
I have renamed the post 'Somewhere" - that's the title for the poem, I have decided it is now a poem. I think it is perhaps the most beautiful and organic piece I have ever written. I never, ever write organically, if you know what I mean? All my poetry is normally written very deliberately, to tell a story or to get a point across. Could anyone who reads this please leave a comment; or if you know me personally let me know what you think of it please. Your honest feedback on this would really be appreciated.